Isoken Survived: Part 4 (Final Episode)

" A penny for your thoughts", Ese whispered. She was lying right next to Isoken on the bed. It was worth asking. Isoken was silent and swimming in her thoughts. Thoughts that generated tears in her eyes. Tears that gave birth to a massive emotional outburst that Ese couldn't understand. Isoken cried and cried in a  way that Ese couldn't imagine. She saw a profoundly vulnerable side of Isoken and couldn't help but hug her tightly till she released every strench of pain. Ese knew why she cried. And Isoken remembered.

She remembered that fateful day at church where the pastor addressed sexual immorality. " You have to abstain from premarital sex. It is wrong. It is sinful. You make God unhappy when you are immoral. I fear for you, young ladies. Sadly, many men have deceived you thinking that sex is a demonstration of love. But it's not. Be warned" . The pastor's voice was filled with urgency, fear and a quest to save young females from deceit. On that Sunday service, Isoken turned around to see the facial expressions of her sisters in the Lord. Some nodded in agreement. Others nodded in agreement while keeping notes of the quoted Bible verses. Isoken could tell that they all enjoyed an inner sense of victory as they didn't violate their bodies. But as for her, she was burried in guilt and self disappointment because of what happened at the uncompleted building two days ago.

Two days ago, as Osamu pulled up his trousers and wore his shirt, he approached Isoken and sarcastically said " I love you. There. I said it. Shey you are happy now. Shey you will let me be". He stormed out of the building. He left Isoken half dressed, disvirgined and dehumanized. After 30 minutes of shattering silence and unexpected loneliness, she packed herself up. As she walked back home, she wondered : Why did l do it? Why did I give in so easily? If this was love, why do I feel so guilty? Why was his attitude remained unchanged even after we did it? Why?

On the evening of that day , her inner being was warfront. Thoughts of guilt and thoughts of fulfillment were battling each other. "At least, I can secure his love now", she would think. But her subconscious mind didn't hesitate to shout out how wrong she was and how she committed the horrendous mistake of her life. She had to get distracted. So she called Ese and they both took a walk around the neighborhood with a Holladia ice cream on their hands. Isoken knew that Ese's unlimited gist would keep her away from her murderous doubts. Then Isoken saw Osamu and his gang at a distance, laughing and surprisingly giving him farewell wishes. "Why are they saying goodbye? Is he leaving"? Isoken was confused. As eager as Ese was to say hi, Isoken didn't listen to her. The girls tiptoed to the side of the boys, hid in a corner and listened attentively.

Osaro: Guy, school go dull without you oh.

Efosa : I just tire. Wetin make your papa wan carry all of  una for Abuja.

Etiosa: Abuja make sense na. No be FCT? Osamu, I dey envy you oh.

Osamu: Guys, I will miss you too. The flight is tomorrow morning and I haven't finished packing. But I just needed to say goodbye to this neighborhood

Osaro: Isoken must have been very sad when you told her you are leaving.

Osamu: Which Isoken? That one! Abeg! Isoken! That girl too dull. If I ask her to jump for inside ikpomba hill river, she will just jump.

Etiosa: A ah! Cut her some slack now. She tried na! You guys are together for the past three years.

Osamu: Three years of complete boredom. See, Iso is too easy to control. So sheepish. She doesn't have a mind of her own and  she is so obsessed with me. This afternoon I slept with her. Just like that. She couldn't even fight for her dignity. Guy, abeg, that girl is bad news

Efosa: I get sha! But you gats to tell her na. At least for old times sake.

Osamu: The one I would definitely miss is Osarugwe. She is so beautiful, such an independent thinker, a thrilling personality. She respects herself so much that she makes me behave when I am around her. She couldn't even allow me touch her. Too bad she never became mine.

Isoken's ice cream dropped on the floor. She was devastated. She was this close to storming out and slapping Osamu for his deceit. Ese held her tight and dragged her away from the crime scene silently. As the girls walked back home, Isoken was speechless. She was shocked, enmeshed with total disgrace and disappointment. She was furious at Osamu for using her, manipulating her, hurting her and dumping her like a consumed sachet of water.  In the face of this, Isoken hated Osamu for being so right. She was truly sheepish. She didn't build her value system and her personality was underdeveloped. She soon realized that all these affected her self esteem adversely and made seek gratification from the wrong people. She sabotaged herself and turned into the foolish girl that Osamu easily played with.

Isoken was shattered.

Isoken, feeling secured with her friend's presence, released herself from Ese's arms, shut down all the bad memories, dried her tears, forced out a smile of hope, held Ese's hands and said: ''Osamu is a chapter of my life filled with mistakes, insecurity and grief. Its definitely sad that things turned out this way and I  had to learn my lessons the rough way. But I will pick myself up. I know my wrongs and I am righting them day after day. I have realized the virtue of self worth, self discipline, self care, self respect and self love. I am acquiring these principles for myself and only me. No man will ever stop them from becoming part of me. Never again. I have disappointed God once. I can't bring myself to doing that again. Ese,I want you to do the same thing. Build your personality before getting emotionally involved with someone. Have your own say. Be respectful,yes. But be an independent thinker and set standards that people will have no choice but to respect. I know I was wrong for slapping Osaze. And I will apologize for that tomorrow morning at school. Its just that I don't want any romantic distraction. I just want to pick myself up and take my time to grow into the woman I want to become. Ese, I will survive.''

Our dear readers, give Isoken a round of applause coz she survived. Yes. Isoken survived.